Dear Ladies And Gentlemen,

We Have A Few Rules To Abide By Here At The Dog. It Is Imperative That You Maintain A Sense Of Humor. As A Matter Of Fact, It Is Required To Have One In These Here Parts. No Sense Of Humor = No Service. We Would Like You To Behave So Others May Enjoy Their Meal Or Misbehave To The Point We Can Refer To You As The Nightly Entertainment. We Maintain The Right To Refuse Service To Any Stuffed Shirts, All Unruly & Unattended Children, Idiots And Those Who Refuse To Have A Good Time. We Readily Admit That No One Is Perfect So Let Us Know If We Aren’t Meeting Your Expectations And We Will Let You Know If You Aren’t Meeting Ours. Please Note That Not All Of Our Dishes May Be Split & There Will Be A $5 Split Plate Charge To Do So. Our Staff Is Happy To Evenly Split Your Check But If It Requires Pulling Out The Abacus You Are S.O.L. Also, Blind Dog Doesn’t Accept Personal Checks, Monopoly Money Or Wooden Nickels. Chef Penn Prefers That We Keep The Menu As It Has Been Created & Written. Substitutions Will Be Kindly Declined And Politely Ignored.  And Remember, We Are In The Restaurant Business Because We Love Food And Most Of The Folks Who Cross Our Threshold.

18% Gratuity May Be Added To Parties Of Eight Or More And All Split Checks. 25% Gratuity Will Be Added To Any Table We Have To Babysit. Cheers And Please Remember, Just Breathe!